Focus self-talk on your strengths: Dr Liz Berryman

Founders are just normal humans trying to do extraordinary things and change the world, says Dr Liz Berryman. So when it comes to keeping well, the chnnl CEO and founder advocates for sharing real stories over cultivating a perfect ‘startup Barbie’ image. 

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‍1. Create systems for self-care

I’m a huge fan of Atomic Habits, which talks a lot about your systems. For example, going to the gym is one of my big self-care routines that's non-negotiable. It's not ‘am I going to the gym this week?’; it's ‘Tuesdays and Thursdays I go to the gym: this is my system and my accountability for that’. Then I've got things in place for when I'm travelling overseas or I've got big pressure at work. I have plans in that system so I don't fall off the gym cycle and don't go back for three years. It's about doing that pre-planning, and planning the system to ensure self-care routines stay a top priority.‍

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2. Cover the basics: sleep well, eat well, exercise well‍

One of my professors from Dunedin always said if you sleep well, eat well and exercise well then everything else is a nice-to-have, but that’s your base. But also, when you start to not sleep or eat well, or if you start to not exercise, those are early warning signs that perhaps you might not be on the rails.

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3. Have radical self-compassion‍

We’re doing some hard stuff – it's not just your normal job – so we need to have compassion for ourselves. If you have a 2am pitch, you aren't going to get up and do a full eight hours of work the next day; have compassion to say ‘actually, I am allowed to sleep in because I was up at two in the morning to talk to the other side of the world’. The other day I had such a messy house and I was like, I've had a really big week – I had this big RFP due, lots of stuff going on – so my house is messy. I can't do everything. I'm not perfect, I'm just human.

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4. Focus self-talk on your strengths ‍

When you’re in those moments when you're tired and stressed, what is your self-talk? Are you focusing on your strengths? New Zealand has this tall poppy syndrome but I think it’s about being a bit more confident and acknowledging, ‘actually no, I am doing great things and that should be celebrated’. It's really important to be humble, but there's also that confidence you’re allowed to have.

Also, we don't need to climb over each other for us all to shine. We need to be celebrating other people's successes and getting in behind and supporting New Zealand because we’re all Kiwis. A lot of people tell me that they jump on LinkedIn and see all these other founders doing amazing things and they're like, ‘oh, I'm not that good’. But it's all about reframing. Celebrate what these people are doing and then go back to your own self-talk and be like, ‘actually, I'm doing these things too’.

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5. Share real stories‍

There are a lot of people pretending they’re ‘Barbie perfect’, but I can tell they won't be able to sustain that. So if we can find safe places where we can share the real stories from behind the scenes, then we won't have that whole comparison thing. We can celebrate other people because we’re being honest with each other as well.

I’m very proactive. I'll reach out to other founders and go, ‘hey, you're someone I really admire and you've been doing this a bit longer than me. Would you mind sharing some of your insights?’ Then I get them on WhatsApp and we message each other. People are very generous in New Zealand and getting that support is key, but you've got to be proactive and reach out for it. It's not going to come to you.‍

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‍As told to Caitlin Sykes

‍‘How I keep well’ is a fortnightly Caffeine column that highlights what individual founders do to keep themselves mentally and physically in the right shape to deal with the demands of startup life. If you know someone with wellness insights to share or want to share your own, email caitlin@caffeinedaily.co